if i asked you, nuzzled up to you on a friend's couch, to be my wife, my husband, my partner in crime, to share your life, would you answer me with disbelief? would you smile and avert your eyes? would you tell me you thought i might say something crazy like that?

if i requested, on a sunny day, on warm sand, that you marry me, heart and soul, body and mind, would you splash water in my face, chase me into the waves and giggle with me in our surf-side bliss?

if i told you that i loved you, on a january night, with the rain pounding on the window panes, in a candlelit room, and i wanted you to be with me forever, would you make love to me slowly and give me your answer in sighs?

if i got down on my knees, and told you i want to make you my home, and kissed your hand and gave you a ring, would you place it on your pretty finger, look into my eyes and nod your approval, a smile just finding its way to your lips?

if i made love to you, traced the outlines of you, held your face in my hands, wrapped you in my arms, if i whispered then that i want to live inside you always, would you grant me access, open the doors to your heart and let me stay?

if one day we wake up to a baby's cries, or anxious toddlers on christmas morning, or a child's nightmare or if we find ourselves caught in each other's eyes over the din of children clanging their dishes with forks at suppertime or at little league or a parent teacher conference, would it be surprising to you when i said i loved you still, as much as the first day i knew i wanted you?

and if someday we're old together, can't you imagine our giggles at how we proved all the cynics wrong, how we still like to stay up and fuck and talk and laugh together and how we're still friends after all this time?

more and more, as my love for you grows, my maybes begin to feel more like yes's, and my love for you more like a promise to love you forever.

October 8, 2001