I don't think I can even begin to express how completely I relate to this amazing quote. So often, I feel caught between my reservations, things I do not say or do because I fear the repercussions, because I wonder what someone's interpretation of them will be and then, then there's this whole other aspect of me, some of the best parts of me: forgiving, accepting, with an unbelievable capacity for love and I think about teachers like Winterson ("What you risk reveals what you value") and Rumi and Mother Theresa, which makes me want to turn the letter on the screen to KC into an email or something I actually send in the mail. I want her to hear that I love her and that she's in my thoughts no matter what she does with them, rather than send the message to the void.

The more it hurts, the more I'm in touch with the love, the more it hurts not to express the love. It *is* quite the paradox. Ain't it?

June 22, 2001