Here it is today. That feeling.

Checking out the hotel information for where we're staying in Chicago this weekend and it hit me.

Sadness.

And a tiny hint of a desire to call Kelly, not to see her really, but to tell her I'm going to be there, so she can feel the same ambiguity I'm feeling in this moment. So she has to know, too.

So strange to think of being there and being without her, even though being without her has brought so many blessings to my life.

November 8, 2001